Sexual Desires When Dating

How to Openly Talk About Your Sexual Desires When Dating

When is too soon to begin telling your partner about that crazy new sex move you’ve been dying to try? Well, following reports that only 9% of couples who don’t openly talk about sex with one another say that they’re satisfied sexually, we’d say it’s pretty important to at least work at forming an open, communicative bond. Talking about sex, and anything else in a relationship, allows each of you to develop a healthy level of communication that will take you far as your bond strengthens and the intensity level in the bedroom begins to heat up, too.

1. Normalize the Conversation

Your parents’ generation might have swept sexual issues under the rug under the guise that it was something people didn’t, and shouldn’t, openly discuss. Well, you’re not living in your parents’ generation and modern-day sexually active individuals shouldn’t feel weird talking about sex and their personal desires, no matter how weird they might be. The National Coalition for Sexual Health is actually taking steps to combat this attitude towards sex and has introduced what they call the Five Action Steps in the hopes that couples can normalize conversations about sex in order to help them make better sense of their own bodies and physical intimacy.

2. Have an Open Mind

Not everybody is going to be into feet or want to tie you up to the bedpost, and that’s okay. The important thing is that you feel able to express your sexual desires with your partner. Having an open mind, even as the one who’s expressing their kinks, is important as you might find that your desires are reciprocated. If they’re not, then it’s important that you and your partner find ways to please each other in ways that make you both feel comfortable and satisfied. If your boyfriend isn’t exactly comfortable with the idea of swinging, for example, you might be able to entice him to open up by getting him a male-specific sex toy that will get his brain thinking about hot sexual acts that don’t only involve you. The options are endless.

3. Avoid Being Indirect and Vague

This is a tip that will take you far in any personal relationship in your life. Failed attempts at communicating your needs to a family member, friend, or even a partner could all largely be solved by being direct and specific. If there is a problem in your life, you need to address it head-on in a respectful yet specific manner. Don’t beat around the bush, especially when it comes to your sex life (no pun intended). Simply put, the more direct you are, the more likely you are to get exactly what you want because your partner, who whoever you’re talking about. Find a way to discuss your desires and needs directly while still acknowledging the comfort levels of your partner.

4. Be Patient

Relationships take a lot of work and understanding from both partners. Navigating everything that comes with being in love and trying to form a union between two peoples is made exponentially more challenging when you aren’t able to effectively communicate your needs and desires. A healthy dose of patience and a lot of willingness to compromise will do you will, and that mixture will help you develop a bond, both emotionally and sexually, that will only strengthen over time.


Moreover, openly talking about sex in your relationship makes it easier to open up to each other about potential sexual problems. For example, many men will experience erectile dysfunction (ED) at least once in their lives. ED can be a significant blow to a man’s self-esteem and mental health, which is likely to affect your relationship.

From medication to enhancement toys for men, there are many ways to handle and treat ED and still have an active sex life, but it starts with the two of you. Your boyfriend will have to open up to you about his condition, and you need to offer your love and support while he undergoes treatment. The same goes if you’re the one with sexual dysfunction.


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