There is nothing easy about losing a loved one, and when the person that you love the most is going through the process of saying goodbye to someone close to them, it can be difficult to know how you can help.
It is a sad fact that the Coronavirus pandemic has made saying goodbye even more difficult, as distances became seemingly insurmountable, tough choices needed to be made about contact and seeing people in person, and many of us had to face losing people close to us much sooner than seemed fair. They will be facing a never-ending procession of emotional and logistical challenges as you check what the current funeral guidelines are and you will of course want to provide your loved one with as much support as possible.
If your partner has recently lost someone and you are wondering how you can support them and make their lives a little easier, here are a few steps that you can take.
Be There For Them
This may sound simple but the fact of the matter is that there are very few things that you can do that are more important than being there for them and supporting them during this incredibly difficult time. The process of grieving always feels like a lonely one, even when you are not having to stay in the bubble or pod that you have set up during the pandemic. If you ever feel like you aren’t doing enough, remember that it’s the little things that you do that will make the most difference.
Think about which of their daily household duties you can take on, whether that’s doing the grocery shopping or making the meals for your family. Make sure that they know that you are there if they want to talk and that you are there if they want to be quiet. Whether it’s bringing them a cup of coffee while they’re on the phone to their family or getting the kids up and ready for the day so they can get that extra hour of sleep in, these small acts all add up to take some of the burdens off their shoulders and to remind them that they are loved and not alone.
Be Prepared To Help With Planning
The process of saying goodbye doesn’t end with that hard day or that unexpected phone call. Planning a funeral or a memorial service is not something that you can avoid, and it is something that can turn into a terrible draining experience if you are not careful. Remember to approach it methodically to ensure that nothing is overlooked or forgotten. If you plan carefully, a funeral can be a beautiful thing, a wonderful celebration of life. The service should be a reminder of how special the person was, and how much of a positive impact their life had on the lives of the people who loved them.
If your partner or loved one is finding the process of planning simply too much to deal with, then this is an area where you can jump in and help. You are going to want to make a budget to see what kind of service you can afford. You are going to need to talk to your partner and other friends and relatives of the deceased to find out if they left any specific instructions for their funeral service. You may need to help writing the obituary, or asking one of their loved ones to take on that duty.
It is important to note that finding the right funeral home is a crucial step, as they will be able to walk you through everything from the flowers to the burial or cremation. Ingram Funeral Home & Crematory has been helping the grieving since 1928 and they know the importance of the personal touch, and they have been able to continue to provide their services during the COVID-19 pandemic.
Remember That It Does Not End With The Funeral
Although it is fair to say that the funeral and memorial service may be the most difficult day, it’s important to remember that grief is a beast with a long tail. After the initial shock has dissipated, and after the adrenaline that allows us to keep functioning during this heart-breaking experience has gone, you will find that the sadness your partner is facing continues to surface. There is no one single way that people experience grief, and you need to be ready to offer support and comfort in those quiet moments when the memory of what has been lost can sneak up.
If your partner is struggling with what they’re feeling, remind them that it always helps to talk about what they’re going through. Making an appointment with a grief counsellor may seem like a big step but there is no shame in seeking professional help and being honest about how hard these experiences are. Things will get better, and a therapist can help bring that brighter day a little closer.